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  I picked up the phone and dialed downtown Portland Police Department.

  “Hey, Josie. It’s your good friend Zac Smith. I’m doing well, pal. Hey. Can you do me a solid? You got anything on a restraining order placed by a female Katy Blakenborough, midtwenties, in Portland within the last twelve to eighteen months? I appreciate your checking for me. How are the kids?”

  Chapter Nine

  Katy

  “I don’t think I can eat another bag of ramen noodles,” I muttered. It wasn’t that I had to, but I was saving for a new bed. Just a few more weeks skimping on groceries and I’d have enough for something with a mattress and box spring. So I sighed as I added seven packages of noodles to my grocery basket. I had half a dozen apples, instant coffee, a box of crackers, and some peanut butter. That would get me through the week.

  The grocery store was walking distance from my apartment in the opposite direction from the library. There was one of those fancy gourmet grocery stores, Trader Joe’s, that I was dying to go to just a little farther up the road. But I’d have to drive there. I didn’t want to. Not yet. I didn’t want to risk my car being seen. I was over forty miles away from my previous life, but I couldn’t be sure that was far enough.

  Last night my phone rang at about midnight. When I picked up, I heard traffic or maybe it was radio static. I couldn’t tell. But whoever it was hung up. I waited for it to ring again, but it never did. Part of me wanted to start crying. But I was so tired of that. I’d cried every day for over three months back in Portland. I refused to let West Linn see me like that. So far this town had been pretty pleasant to me. The least I could do was show it a brave face.

  “Okay, Katy. You can stop it now.” I shook my head and focused on one last purchase. Bacon. It would be a treat for sticking so closely to my budget. One splurge wasn’t going to break the bank. “Seven dollars? Well, it is the thick-cut bacon.”

  “That looks good.” The man’s voice made me jump and yelp at the same time. I whirled around to see Zac. I think I scared him as much as he scared me. I put my hand over my heart and let out a relieved chuckle.

  “Don’t sneak up on people,” I scolded. I tried to be angry, but I don’t think I was pulling it off very well. Especially since he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

  “I’m sorry.” He put his hand gently on my shoulder for just a second. It felt warm. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “It’s all right.” I waved my hand and shook my head. “Well, I have to get going.” I put the bacon back clumsily and began to walk away.

  “Katy?”

  I turned around and looked at him. He was wearing a pair of perfectly snug blue jeans and a plain white T-shirt, a flannel shirt draped over his broad shoulders. He looked like he just stepped out of some fashion magazine. I felt my mouth hanging open and quickly snapped it shut, raising my eyebrows innocently.

  “I could use a little help,” he pleaded.

  “That’s obvious,” I quietly retorted. The words sort of fell out of my mouth. Zac smiled and slowly began to saunter toward me. I’m usually not snappy with the comebacks. Sarcasm isn’t my style. Usually. But it seemed to me that Zac walked right into that one, and I couldn’t resist.

  “I’m entertaining a friend, and I’m not sure what I should make. What would you cook for a friend coming to visit?”

  “Well, that depends.” I swallowed. I wondered if he were talking about a woman or a man friend. “Do you know how to cook?”

  “What?” He put his hand up to his chest as if he’d been wounded. “Of course I know how to cook. I just don’t normally cook a lot of stuff.”

  “Well, what is your specialty?”

  “Soup. Out of a can.”

  I snickered and shook my head.

  “Then why don’t you just make that?” I couldn’t help the smile on my face. Zac was disarming.

  “I was thinking a couple of steaks might be nice with a salad. It’s simple but shows I put in the effort. Right?”

  “Yes. Your friend should be very impressed.” I looked at my watch. “Well, good luck.”

  “Wait. Uhm, do you know how to pick out a couple of good steaks?”

  I wasn’t stupid. I could tell that this was just a ruse to get me to hang around. Part of me wanted to drop my basket and run out of the grocery store. But another part of me was having fun. I was enjoying Zac’s banter, and I felt he might have been enjoying me, too.

  I nodded and proceeded to explain to him the different kinds of cuts in the meat department. He cracked wise, making me laugh over silly jokes about why the chicken crossed the road and what cows do when there are no humans around.

  It was the first time in what seemed like years that I was laughing. I didn’t look over my shoulder once. When Zac finally decided on a couple of filets and had me pick out a bouquet of flowers, we proceeded to check out.

  “I really appreciate your help.”

  “It was nothing,” I mumbled, looking at him out of the corner of my eye.

  “Can I give you a lift home?”

  Panic settled in my gut. Get into a car? With Zac? He was just a gorgeous human being. He was a police officer, too.

  “No,” I said before I was sure. “I’ve got to stop at the bank and then, uhm, I’ve got to drop off a letter at the post office.”

  He knew I was lying. The way he looked deflated, I could tell he knew I was full of it.

  “That’s okay. I’ll just see you for dinner.”

  I nodded in the affirmative but then looked up at him confused.

  “Be at my apartment at six thirty. Don’t be late.” He looked over my head as if something had suddenly caught his attention, but I knew he was just doing it to tease me. “Please don’t stand me up. If there are any Oreos left over, bring them for dessert.”

  I almost choked as I took my grocery bag and headed out of the store. What just happened? Was I invited on a date? I strolled home with a smile on my face and quickly hurried up the stairs to my apartment.

  After putting my groceries away, I took a quick shower, tied my hair back, and slipped into a simple gray skirt and a white blouse. It was very feminine yet very modest.

  “He’s just a nice guy helping you out,” I told my reflection in the bathroom mirror. “Like he said, he’s the kind of guy you call when you’ve got a spider in the tub or something.” I peeked in the tub. No arachnids.

  At six thirty I stepped out of my apartment with one of my two only plates filled with the remaining six Oreo cookies. I smoothed my hair back, brushed off my skirt, and walked bravely down the hallway to Zac’s door. Halfway there I froze.

  “What are you doing?” All the trouble and all the anxiety from the past came flooding back to me. “You aren’t in any position to be talking to any guy. This can only end up bad. It’s too risky for you and for him.”

  My shoulders slumped as I sighed.

  I didn’t deserve to be happy. Not after everything that had happened. It was too soon. I wasn’t out of the woods yet. There was still a chance he was out there. He was still out there, and he might find me. What would he do to Zac?

  Shouldn’t that question be what would Zac do to him? The more rational side of my brain spoke to me. You can’t live life waiting for that lunatic to show up again. The chances of him finding you are slim to none, and Slim left town. No. Katy left town.

  I stood in the hallway for just a few seconds more. I was probably overdressed. How pitiful. Only six Oreos.

  “They were tasty.” Just as I was about to go back to my apartment and hide, Zac’s front door opened up. He stepped out and caught me. I felt like a kid who’d been busted spray-painting graffiti on the side of a school.

  “It is six thirty-two. You’re late,” he lectured.

  “I’m sorry.” I grinned. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to come.”

  “Why?” He looked genuinely hurt.

  “Because I don’t know you. Not really.” I felt stupid holding that plate while hemming and ha
wing in the hallway.

  “How about this.” He put one arm up against his doorjamb and the other on his hip. God, he was gorgeous. “How about you come in for a few minutes. I won’t lock the door. If at any time you want to go home, you can just go. I won’t try and stop you. I won’t say that my feelings won’t be terribly hurt, and I’ll probably cry into my pillow all night, but I won’t keep you here any longer than you want. Deal?”

  I wanted to say no. My head was screaming go back to your own apartment. But my gut answered for me.

  “Deal.”

  I followed behind Zac. When I closed the door, I checked it and sure enough, it wasn’t locked, just closed.

  “I’m sorry there are only six Oreos left. I hadn’t had those since I was a kid,” I babbled. Zac’s apartment was nice. It was almost the same as mine except he had a large studio. I had a single bedroom that was really more like a walk-in closet. His was like a mini gym with weights and an elliptical in the corner. There was a scented candle burning on the coffee table in front of his couch. It smelled like vanilla.

  I noticed a bike propped up in the small kitchen.

  “Do you go out riding a lot?” I didn’t care if he did or didn’t. I just had no idea what to say. I’d never been alone in a man’s apartment before.

  “Every chance I get. How do you like your steak?”

  “Medium rare, I guess.”

  I watched him toss the cuts of meat on the broiler and shut the door.

  “I try to get out in the country a little bit at least twice a month. There are some really great paths and trails that take all day to complete, but they are so worth it. Once when I was out early in the morning…”

  He told me about a buck he saw with great antlers walking in a field with about half a dozen doe following him. He also talked about seeing so many sunrises and sunsets out in the middle of nowhere. As if that weren’t enough, he gave me a harrowing blow-by-blow account of a rock climbing adventure where he was nearly stranded on a ledge after his safety rope fell off his belt.

  “Weren’t you terrified?” I nearly choked.

  “In a word… yes. Yes, I was.”

  I couldn't understand it. Suddenly I was imagining being out in nature walking along leaf-covered trails, watching squirrels and birds go about their business as a sweaty muscular Zac Smith accompanied me. Of course, he had no shirt on in my vision. Why would he?

  My cheeks blazed, so I turned to look out his window and see what the view was. He was still talking. I liked the sound of his voice.

  Chapter Ten

  Zac

  I was rambling on about my nature hikes and sleeping in a field. She had to think I was the most boring guy on the planet.

  “Have you ever gone to Starved Rock?”

  She shook her head no.

  “That’s one of my favorite places. They’ve got beautiful nature trails that go for miles. Some take an hour to finish, and some take all day.”

  “Have you ever done the ones that take all day?” I could tell by her voice Katy was still a little nervous.

  “I have. But I’ve never gone in the winter. Every season I’ve gone, and it makes the place look completely different. Sometimes it feels like you’re the only person on the planet. I know that might freak some people out, but I’ve never been afraid of that kind of solitude.”

  “Me neither,” she replied, finally looking right at me. “That sounds ideal.”

  I watched her for a moment.

  “You are really beautiful.” The words came out like they didn’t even pass my brain for approval. “I’ve been wanting to tell you that. So. Now you know.”

  “Thank you.” She smoothed her hair back. She had it pinned back in a loose ponytail. I was able to see her give me that sideways look again when her eyebrow arched. My God, she was so hot.

  We talked some more, and she opened up about her family and friends. What college was like and what made her become, of all things, a librarian.

  “Like you said. Not a lot of people like to be alone with their own thoughts. I hate to say it, but most of the time my own thoughts are the only ones that make any sense.”

  I laughed out loud.

  “So, being a librarian seemed like a natural choice. I love to read. Even if it’s a trashy love story or a legal thriller, I’ll read it. It’s my escape.”

  “But you don’t like scary stories.”

  “Life can be scary enough,” she said as we finished our meal. “And I was a little worried this meal might be scary, too. But it was delicious. I haven’t had a chunk of red meat that size in a long time.”

  “So, you like my cooking?” I stood from the table for two I had by my one and only window and took her plate that was practically licked clean.

  “So far.” She shrugged.

  “How about some coffee with our dessert?”

  She nodded and smoothed out her skirt.

  “Can I help with the dishes?” she offered.

  I agreed she could. It surprised me how quickly she took to cleaning everything up. We chatted as she ran the water in the kitchen sink. Before I knew it, she had everything cleared off the table and stove, all the clean dishes were stacked on the counter, and the broiling rack was soaking in the suds so it would be easier to clean after the grease had softened.

  The smell of coffee filled the apartment. I told Katy to take a seat on the sofa and I’d be right there. What I wanted was a moment to myself. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want her to leave. So far she hadn’t made a mad dash to the door, but I wasn’t sure I could hold out and not kiss her.

  Whether she knew it or not, she had the kind of lips that needed to be kissed and kissed often. I felt everything tightening. My chest. My hands. Especially my pants. But I couldn’t lose control. She’d been through a good bit from what I was able to gather from Josie at the Portland Police Department. It wasn’t completely clear, but a case of stalking was bad enough. Some guy named Matt Beabe had allegedly been stalking her. He was probably an ex-boyfriend. That was the most common reason for restraining orders. That and ugly custody battles. But there was no boomerang order put in place against Katy. Some guys when they are jilted and can’t take no for an answer file orders against their victims. It’s a way to get the woman into court. A way they can see her again. Control her again. It’s a big waste of time and money. But none of that usually matters to a loon.

  “What happened? Did you burn the coffee?” she called from the living room. Jeez, I was just standing here spacing out while the most beautiful woman in the world waited in the other room.

  “Very funny,” I choked. Finally, I took two cups, filled them with black coffee, and went into the front room. I swear she had gotten even hotter as she sat there. She'd taken her hair out of the ponytail, and it fell around her face.

  We sat on the couch, and she scooted to face me as I told her yet another story about bicycling in Arizona on one vacation a couple years ago.

  I described the red rocks and the cactuses and the sharp blue sky in the background. But it felt like I was on autopilot. Was she leaning in closer to me? Was her knee always touching mine, or did she scoot closer? When did I stretch my arm across the back of the sofa?

  Before I knew anything, I had leaned down and kissed her. Her skin smelled clean like soap. Her lips were soft, and there was no doubt she was kissing me back. Slowly I slipped my arms around her. I could feel her trembling slightly.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. “I wanted to kiss you all night. Do you want me to stop?”

  I was ready for her to say yes, to nod her head and pull away with that sexy look out of the corner of her eye. But she didn’t.

  “No,” she panted.

  Before I could do anything, she pushed herself into me. I encircled her in my arms and squeezed. Every curve seemed to fit perfectly in my hands. As much as I tried, I couldn’t get close enough to her. I wanted to take her, but the words Nathan had explained to me the other day rang through my
mind.

  Katy was different. So I was going to do things differently.

  I kissed her lips slowly. Her tongue shyly reached mine as I slipped one arm tightly around her waist. The other found its way down the front of her blouse. I couldn’t believe how she responded. Every move I made took Katy to another place. Like she had been waiting for someone to show her something new.

  As I massaged her, I couldn’t help but tease just a little. This was fun. We were having fun. I planned on making this night all about Katy. In the back of my mind, the restraining order lingered. I wanted her to forget her fears. All the worry she carried around with her would be forgotten while she was with me. All she would feel was pleasure and the safety to enjoy it.

  Her breathing was becoming shallower. I could tell she was getting into the rhythm as I massaged her, but I was pleasantly surprised when she parted her legs. Whether it was intentional or not, I slid my hand down her breast, over her hip, down her thigh, then up again, pulling her skirt high up with it.

  She still didn’t stop me. I was glad.

  Her skin was smooth. I rubbed her outer thigh up over the curve of her backside, tugging only slightly at her panties. Before she could change her mind, I slowly slid my hand down in between her parted thighs.

  Still, she didn’t stop me.

  I could feel the heat from her center, her very core, and I knew she needed this. Her kisses had become more passionate, forceful.

  “Katy,” I breathed. “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No.”

  “Good. I won’t stop,” I whispered as my fingers pulled back her panties. Gently I caressed her. Her legs parted a little farther, and she began to pant as we kissed. Her back arched, pushing her breasts into me. I kissed down her neck while I applied a little more pressure. Moving my hand in slow circles, I listened to the beautiful sound of her breath coming faster and faster. When I found the sweet bud tucked deep within her, she gasped.